Should A Aspiring Content Creator Friend Stop Using People for Material?

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?